Tag Archives: pictures

Your Daily Dose of WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!

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YOUR DAILY DOSE OF WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?! 12/29/2012 — yes, that’s exactly what you’re seeing: Steve “Brick from Anchorman” Carell and Steve “I am awesome in every movie & television show that I’m in” Buscemi…dressed as magicians/Siegfried & Roy on super-potent LSD.

Enjoy your daily dose.

— Jackson Williams.

Jackson Williams = The World’s Only Living Piger

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Joshua the Piger

Yes, this is a drawing of me as a piger, a half-pig half-tiger hybrid creature that my girlfriend conjured up because she’s, uh, creative like that. Let me explain: every couple has their little inside jokes, their bizarre quirks and beautiful, magnetic idiosyncrasies; the girlfriend and I? We have many of these little eccentricities. And they’re fucking hilarious, but only to us. One of these is the aforementioned piger, which she draws on everything from poems to love letters to empty cups of Starbucks. It’s great and it’s one of the many, many reasons why I love her. Now, being the responsible boyfriend that I am, I got my girlfriend many gifts for Christmas: two scarves, a watch, bath salts, some candles and a $25 dollar gift card to Bath & Body Works. I believe I did very well.

BUT: I’m Jackson motherfucking Williams, and that means that I dig going the extra mile. But what should I do?? As fate would have it, I was cruising through the (good) mall a few days before Christmas when I just so happened to spot one of those caricaturists you usually see drawing for idiot tourists just cruising along the boardwalk, taking in the bullshit air, and he was doing nothing. This caricaturist — cool dude, by the way — saw nothing strange at all with my request: draw a picture of me crossed with a half-pig, half-tiger freak animal. He did not blink nor shudder at my description of this foul creature.

“May I ask why, young man?”

“She’ll fucking adore it, that’s why. She’ll die from laughing.” (she did!)

“Love is a strange thing.”

“Indeed.”

“Do you want the piger to have your eyes?”

“….I hope so.”

— Jackson Williams.

The Basement

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Portland rules. — J.W.

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Somewhere in Portland, there’s a very old building, and that very old building has a very, very old basement. An incredible basement, a video-game-level basement, a set-decorator’s dream basement.

And when you walk past the janitors office, with the wonderfully decked halls…

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And tromp down a sunken hallway…

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You find a old room. Mostly empty, dusty, and dead quiet.

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And then you start to look closer at the walls.

And you start to see things.

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(You see that Brown didn’t often pay his dime for coffee.)

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(You see that a lot of calculation was done right on the wall.)

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(You see that World War I was front and center on everyone’s mind.)

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(You wonder what was being tallied, and if it was better to win or lose.)

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(And you learn the tongue-in-check “rules” of the room.)

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And eventually, you crawl behind a corner, and discover a bundle of conduit.

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Conduit for…

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