Wise words. Wise words. I can’t wait for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Will I die if I freeze myself in a large, totally safe freezer until December 14th? Yes? No? I’m letting you know now that I will be taking your silence as a very concrete “absolutely, dude,” so please let me know as soon as you can, because I’m going to Sears later and have a wad of cash to blown on a dumb decision — as I usually do when I have a wad of money in my pocket. What good is money if you can’t spend it recklessly? It’s not like you can take it with you when you die or something.
Now, back to the more pressing question: if I were to do this, what kind of freezer should I go with? Maybe someone who has experience with this sort of operation would like to chime in with their two pennies before it’s…too late? I’m thinking about maybe getting a Maytag up in this bitch, yo.
— Jackson Williams.